Loon Calls & Long Balls – Week 8 Recap 🦆
Week 8 is in the books, and the league chaos continues. Points exploded, egos imploded, and Bon Jovi’s Stallions finally found the end zone — and the win column. Let’s splash through the madness.
$traight Cash Homies (125.4) def. Mild Cheddar (119.08)
Cash Homies: Josh Allen 23.22 and Cameron Dicker 14.0 made it rain. Cheddar: Drake Maye 26.28 and McConkey 20.8 melted under pressure. Defense optional, vibes maximal.
CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team (91.7) vs. Ben 10’s Watch (108.9)
CJ’s: McCaffrey 9.8 — more like Semi-Inactive. Ben 10’s: Barkley 33.4 and RJ Harvey 24.1 saved the day. Maybe it really is hero time.
Bon Jovi’s Stallions (117.5) def. Bjorn’s Deep Thoughts (117.4)
Stallions: Daniel Jones 23.18, Derrick Henry 19.1 — and finally, after seven long weeks, they did it. Bon Jovi’s Stallions won their first game. Bjorn’s 0.06-point heartbreak might need therapy and a calculator.
Go Sports Ball! (111.6) def. Pineapple Power (104.8)
GSB: James Cook 33.6 and Rashee Rice 25.5 served up an all-you-can-eat buffet. Pineapple: Hurts 25.36 couldn’t keep the blender running long enough to win.
Amon fire (126.1) def. AI Overlords (104.8)
Amon fire: Jonathan Taylor 37.4 and Bo Nix 23.78 torched everything in sight. Overlords: Ja’Marr Chase 21.1 couldn’t save the bots from overheating.
🏆 Weekly Awards
💥 Team of the Week: Amon fire — blazing at 126.1 points. The rest of the league smelled like smoke.
😬 Bench Blunder: CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team — Ben 10’s transformation wasn’t the only thing missing; CJ left logic on the bench.
🎯 Player of the Week: Jonathan Taylor — 37.4 points and more stiff-arms than a mosh pit.
😱 Closest Call: Bon Jovi’s Stallions by 0.06 over Bjorn — cue the emotional support duck.
🧊 “So Cold” Award: Mild Cheddar — melted in the 4th quarter again.
Week 9 looms large — trade deadlines, byes, and tears incoming. Stay hydrated, set those lineups, and may your benches be merciful.
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