Headline: Same loon calls, longer balls. Week 7 brought boom weeks, bench heartbreaks, and at least one team that apparently thought field goals were a personality.
Mild Cheddar (142.36) def. Jon’s Super Team (132.98)
Mild Cheddar: Dak served hot (23.26), Gibbs melted faces (36.8), and Addison sprinkled in the sharp points (21.8). Jon: Stafford (27.38) and Adams (26.5) tried to rescue it — but the cheese curds squeaked out the win.
Lubby (115.34) def. Bon Jovi’s Stallions (103.86)
Lubby: DeVonta (33.3), Judkins (26.4), Jacobs (18.8) — the deepest week yet. Stallions: Hunter (24.1) and Lamb (22.0) hit highlights, but depth tanked.
CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team (131.22) def. Go Sports Ball! (117.02)
CJ’s: CMC 39.1, Trey McBride 29.4, A.J. Brown 28.1 — laid waste. Go Sports Ball!: JSN (26.3) and Rice (23.2) fought valiantly, but the steamroll was real.
$traight Cash Homies (116.06) def. Bjorn’s Deep Thoughts (107.44)
Cash Homies: Rodgers 22.56 and Patriots D/ST 20.0 kept it tight. Bjorn: Mahomes 26.24, Skattebo 18.4, but the rest blinked.
AI Overlords (126.64) def. Pineapple Power (61.84)
Overlords: Ja’Marr Chase 38.1, Browns D/ST 24.0 — total domination. Pineapple Power: Hurts 24.04 tried to spark it, but the fruit bowl melted early.
Amon fire (171.60) def. Ben 10’s Watch (86.32)
Amon fire: JT 34.2, Keenan Allen 28.9, Herbert 27.9 — record day. Ben 10’s: London 26.8 and Butker 13.0 were bright, but this one was scorch-mode.
🏆 Weekly Awards
🔥 Scorched New High: Amon fire – 171.60 points. That’s not fantasy, that’s an extinction event.
🤯 Near-Miss Sweatfest: $traight Cash Homies — 116.06 over Bjorn by 8.62.
🎯 Player of the Week: Christian McCaffrey – 39.1 points. CMC doing CMC things.
🛡 Defense That Showed Up: Browns D/ST – 24.0.
📉 Bench Blunder of the Week: Ben 10’s Watch leaving Travis Etienne (6.5) and Barkley (5.2) on the pine for a 171-point loss. Brutal.
Leave a Reply