New week, new chaos. Here’s what went down — plus standings, GIFs, and some well-earned awards.
📊 Standings Through Week 4
| Team | Record | Points For | Points Against | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| $traight Cash Homies | 4–0 | 547.76 | 472.88 | +74.88 |
| Go Sports Ball! | 3–1 | 525.08 | 442.58 | +82.50 |
| CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team | 3–1 | 472.74 | 445.12 | +27.62 |
| Pineapple Power | 2–2 | 516.06 | 445.34 | +70.72 |
| Amon Fire | 2–2 | 479.68 | 467.96 | +11.72 |
| Jon’s Super Team | 2–2 | 441.48 | 443.32 | -1.84 |
| AI Overlords | 2–2 | 435.12 | 454.06 | -18.94 |
| Mild Cheddar | 2–2 | 432.24 | 454.06 | -21.82 |
| Ben 10’s Watch | 2–2 | 425.76 | 451.88 | -26.12 |
| Bjorn’s deep thoughts | 1–3 | 465.06 | 477.74 | -12.68 |
| Lubby | 1–3 | 410.76 | 468.98 | -58.22 |
| Bon Jovi’s Stallions | 0–4 | 403.48 | 531.30 | -127.82 |
⚔️ Matchup Recaps
Mild Cheddar (96.72) vs CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team (114.50)
Winner: CJ’s Semi-Competitive Team (+17.78)
CMC did CMC things (26.1) and Wentz turned back the clock. Cheddar’s WR room ghosted harder than a Craigslist buyer — tough to win when your top two wideouts combine for 7.1.
MVP: Christian McCaffrey (26.1) | LVP: Ladd McConkey (2.1)
AI Overlords (114.44) vs Lubby (122.52)
Winner: Lubby (+8.08)
Josh Jacobs (31.7) punched in a statement game and Quinshon Judkins (21.5) backed it up. The bots had DK cooking (23.6) and Deebo balling (20.1), but the Packers D giving you negative five is a system crash.
MVP: Josh Jacobs (31.7) | LVP: Packers D/ST (–5.0)
Jon’s Super Team (122.00) vs $traight Cash Homies (169.36)
Winner: $traight Cash Homies (+47.36)
Pickens (33.4), Bijan (28.1), Bucky (25.5)… the Homies didn’t just win — they detonated. Stafford and JJettas kept Jon afloat, but the money printer went brrrrr.
MVP: George Pickens (33.4) | LVP: —
Amon Fire (118.08) vs Go Sports Ball! (162.28)
Winner: Go Sports Ball! (+44.20)
Ashton Jeanty (33.5) and the Lions D (20) lit the scoreboard. Amon-Ra (26.0) and Garrett Wilson (20.2) tried to keep pace, but GSB! was running a track meet.
MVP: Ashton Jeanty (33.5) | LVP: 49ers D/ST (0.0)
Ben 10’s Watch (114.58) vs Bon Jovi’s Stallions (108.32)
Winner: Ben 10’s Watch (+6.26)
RJ Harvey (19.8) and Drake London (25.0) hit at the right time. Stallions had a big Omarion Hampton (27.5) and a clutch 19 from Cairo Santos, but the margin stayed just out of reach.
MVP: Drake London (25.0) | LVP: Cedric Tillman (1.6)
Pineapple Power (121.00) vs Bjorn’s deep thoughts (142.70)
Winner: Bjorn’s deep thoughts (+21.70)
Mahomes (27.3) + Quentin Johnston (23.8) + Courtland Sutton (19.1) = a vibe. Pineapple got a monster from Puka (36.0) and a big leg from McLaughlin (17.0), but the supporting cast took a bye in spirit.
MVP: Patrick Mahomes (27.3) | LVP: David Montgomery (1.2)
🏆 Weekly Awards
💣 Nuclear Score of the Week — $traight Cash Homies (169.36)
Pickens + Bijan + Bucky = fireworks. The only thing hotter is the waiver wire after that flex.
🪫 Heartbreaker — Bon Jovi’s Stallions (lost by 6.26)
So close, yet so far. One extra first down and this flips.
🧀 Bench Blunder — Mild Cheddar
Left Dak (30.96) and Khalil Shakir (17.9) sitting while WR2 posted 2.1. The math says that swing could’ve done it.
🛻 Under-the-Radar Hero — Ashton Jeanty (33.5), Go Sports Ball!
RB steamroller of the week. If you blinked, you missed two chunk gains.
🧱 Defensive Flex — Lions D/ST (20.0), Go Sports Ball!
Sack lunch served with a side of turnovers. That DL ate.
🧾 Undefeated Watch — $traight Cash Homies (4–0)
Four weeks in, still spotless. Target on the back gets bigger from here.
Leave a Reply